The Bride Shot At Me - Social Networking Bride Gangs May Be Here To Stay By Celebrity Wedding Officiator, Dr. Linda

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Part 1 - Series - An article to inform Wedding Services Professionals

Wedding professionals, due to my last few days on bride populated Internet social networking sites, “madness” has requested its domination. Of course, I refuse to say, “Yes” to its invitation to torment! Suffice it to say, event professionals, we may be in trouble! If your marrying couples are “High Enders”, perhaps this article is not for you. But, it could be. For those many wedding service providers delirious to find work at all or simply attracting the average bride, please join this series’ discussion.

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News outlets have studied the unfavourable bonds formed within Social Media. Just today, a woman's Facebook post, featuring an image of her toned physique and her 3 young children, was barraged by 15,000 "name callers" (predominantly women)! And, for what? This young woman simply suggested it possible to be healthy and a mother of three young boys! Within a news story about this Facebook woman, the female commentator offered some descriptive words, often posted about herself, by social networking "name callers"! - Such as "whale", "elephant", "gorilla", and the like.  This news anchor also admitted a struggle with her body weight. To take a big leap, it seems that there is a viciousness inherent within this generation's Social Networking Culture, and it makes these women's experiences more normative than isolated. So, how does this translate within the "Wedding Planning Industry"? In keeping up with the world outside The Knot or Wedding Wire, there is an entire universe of engaged women, who might have possibly been brought to earth by sadistic alien beings! Let me describe our experience on just one of the more popular social networking “Mods” forums. My reason for keeping up with the new, newest and newer of the monstrously growing Internet social cafés might be different from yours, but you still need to know. This new kind of bride may be coming through your doors very soon. Here we are, never thinking that this group of wedding professionals would write about such a thing! - Especially, as birthed by their own experiences!

So, here goes….Did you know that there are actually on-line “Bride Gangs”! Yes, “Bride Gangs!” -- With the same mentality as any garden variety of “Gang”. There is a “Gangland”.  There is a “membership”. There is a “territory”.  There is a “creed”. There is a “policing force”. There are the “ruled” and the “ruling”!  And, unless you live there, you will not know the kind of things that go on.  It is enough to say, “Let’s all just only service the luxury bride, and forget the rest!”

Social Networking Forum - Bride Type 1 – The Bully or Enforcer

So, what is that to you? Perhaps, you don’t even frequent or visit these bastions of the engaged women. But, dear wedding professional, the kind of brides found in a wedding forum are not necessarily a fringe element. – This is a generation of wedding customer, who might be here to stay for awhile!  And, that is a problem for the whole industry! 

Let me introduce you to the first bride.  She was a sort of a “Greeter, Gangland Style!” Within, just a few moments of posting an informative article for discussion, her response:  “Get off of our site you ########! You are spamming, you ########.... We don’t want you here!” Now, do bear in mind, there is no sign on this forum which says, “Die Wedding Vendor Die!”  But, if she had fired a gun at me, I would be deceased! Seriously, what is wrong with this bride?  Apart from possessing only a "four letter word vocabulary"! What is this "false sense of territory"? Why is she so naturally "hostile"? What are her mental and emotional issues? This was a “Gun Moll” of the “Bride Variety”!  ... And, she had followers!

So, what was the nature of our unforgivable social act? What heinous crime did this wedding professional commit? Should I be executed for my crime? Now, don’t laugh but, I simply posted a link to an original article that was thoughtfully researched and compiled! Bringing to the light, a true concern for marrying couples. And, then asked if anyone would like to discuss it with me! Even inviting brides to help by adding to it also. This article's ideas were posited by me, a human behaviourist, caring person, and devout wedding professional. Couldn't another's experience and academic insight be helpful to a wedding planning bride-to-be? Now, because of this posting, I am amongst “America’s Most Wanted“! Shocked aren’t you? Well, you are not alone! Again, don't make the mistake of thinking that this Greeter Bully Bride was the only one like this on the wedding planning forum!

Should I Strike A Plea Bargain? 
Let Them Run Me Out Of Town On A Rail?

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In this Wedding Professionals Series, I hope that we might collaborate on “What to do next?” What adjustments to make, or not make. - Because, ladies and gentlemen this “Bridal Mafia” is amassing its army.  There is a clear message, that they don’t need us.  They are shouting, “We can get what we need on the Internet”!  Crystal-clear were their messages of contempt for my 24 years of wedding experience and education. (A “Bully Bride” actually wrote, “I am an expert…. I have been planning my wedding for 9 months!”) These brides were tired of us vendors promoting our websites or Facebooks! And, especially those "pesky" informative articles, whereby they might learn something! These brides were a tribe, a clan, a family! Wedding professionals, in our collaboration, I hope that this continuing series will arm us for our wedding industry futures!  In the meantime, “I am going back in. Cover me!”

For Discussion By Brides or Wedding Professionals experiencing the "Bride Gang" mentality on Wedding Planning Forums. For the purposes of suggesting, "How to bring generous expert assistance (via Social Networking), to those brides wanting it, but being blocked by bride-peers with personal agendas.

TO BE CONTINUED – DR. LINDA (Words and Images - All Content - Copyright 2013 - Dr. Linda)

Dr. Linda Wainwright Trott - The Clergy Network & LegallyMarried is a Celebrity Wedding Officiator, Writer, Blogger & Educator, and has written and presided marriages for 24 years.  With multiple academic degrees, she was also a professor and president of a university. Friends with many National & International Wedding Professionals, she enjoys writing "collaborative" articles with them. From The Food Network Star Chef’s Wedding to The Real Housewives of Orange County Bravo T.V. Wedding to the bride on a budget, Dr. Linda is a “Wedding Values” writer. Dr. Linda encourages what is really important about “getting married”.   Starting with absolute values first, helps a bride make the best and most memorable wedding planning decisions.

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The New Look In “Wedding Crashers” - This Wedding Crasher Isn’t The Wedding Officiator, But, She Could Have Been! (True Wedding Story) By Celebrity Wedding Officiator Dr. Linda

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United States - Oct 6, 2013 - Start with a beautiful Southern California night, then, note a brightly lit structure in the distant hills. And, now, imagine a second one, almost exactly like the first – With one structure parallel to the other, just on different hills.  Passing through a chain of green lights, you travel towards both hill-side palaces, just as it has quickly slipped into the night with the brightness of the sun replaced by twinkling party lights. Choosing the left gate and ascending the hill is altogether festive. There, along with the tender breezes at the top, are happily racing parking attendant-greeters and an amazing view of the Catalina Islands. Yet, as majestic as this moment might be, you are there to work!

Early, as usual, you exit your automobile. Immediately, you navigate the people crowded entrance, walk straight past the wedding venue’s hostess, and right down to the ceremony area. Surveying the layout, saying “hello” to the other wedding vendors, doing a microphone “sound – check”, and, so forth. There, diligently going through your pre-ceremony paces, always competent, helpful, and organized. – But, then, it happens, you hear the marrying couple’s first and last names mentioned….. Oops, your innocent mistake hits hard, much like that childhood “belly flop” on a swimming pool’s hard watery surface. And, under your breath, you say, “I am on the wrong hill!”   Now, you are not the usual “Wedding Crasher”, because you are a “Wedding Officiator!”  This kind of crashing is excusable, and even humorous, especially if it is by a diligent and legitimate marriage officiant. Note: By the way, exiting quickly, but still early, the real officiator of this true story found her bride and groom at the wedding venue on the other hill!

Real Wedding Crashers Use Credit Cards Just Like Your Wedding Guests & Might Leave You With The Check!

At any large hotel, there could be three or four or five wedding celebrations in one four hour

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time-block. In fact, as a wedding officiator, scouting out my contracted ceremony event, I have innocently walked into the wrong already happening reception and been greeted warmly by the unsuspecting! It is just that easy to do! So, what about the new wedding crasher? Are they drawn to the open bar and passed hors d'oeuvres at a wedding cocktail hour? Maybe, the monetary treasures in envelopes ready for picking on the gift table? Perhaps, he or she is using your wedding day much like a “dating service”.  Certainly, there could be those.

Human “creativity” is either noble or dastardly, and amid rising hotel rates, crashers are after your discount. You might say, “Oh well, the more the merrier!”, but, like with anything stolen from the innocents, enough of that kind of activity ruins it for others.  Then, the correction becomes corporal, much like punishing the whole fifth grade class just because of one obsessively pesky student transgressor.

The experts say today’s “Wedding Crasher” is getting in on the lower price connected with a block of rooms for a wedding or a corporate event. Apparently, rates are steeper during high-demand times such as wedding season or a busy convention period. And the wickedly resourceful know it. This crime of a “stow-away” or “camouflaged” wedding guest is so easily perpetrated. In fact, it is the 68 percent of the marrying engaged, with their public wedding websites doing the “aiding and abetting”. How you might ask?

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The Good Thing That Is Also The Bad Thing

The simple act of the on-line posting of important wedding organizational details for genuine wedding guest attendees is the culprit.  For those “devious for a discount”, a wedding website provides guest information, such as where to book rooms and deal codes that often are not password-protected. Crashing a block is easy enough to do with just a quick search for "wedding block," (along with a location and date), yielding potential dozens of examples.

Wedding website couples, not-to-worry, and hotel purveyors don’t punish the “whole for the few”.  Even though “crashers” fly under the radar, it is easy to determine if one is a victim. Together, with a representative of the hotel hosting your wedding guests, go through the names in your discounted block regularly. If you don’t recognize a name or two, just let them know. If your “discount code” was used by a “Wedding Crasher”, the hotel might suggest the typical protocol for this offense.

Finally, a bit of a warning too … Realize that Hotels aren't overly concerned about crashers, as it's better to sell a room than have it go empty. So, engaged couples, this leaves it to you to thwart interlopers. Do be diligent to catch any crashers in your room blocks. Too many couples “asleep at the wheel” could result in legitimate guests' paying higher rates or being unable to book at all. Those not-caught uninvited can also leach right under your nose. Perhaps, even padding the bill for things you might pay for per head for your guests, such as breakfast, shuttle use or gift placed in rooms. Certainly, there may be other un-intended consequences. So, for all of us innocents, Happy “Wedding Crasher” sleuthing! 

About Dr. Linda

Facebook Discussion of ""Healthy Bride Wedding Planning" - Dr. Linda Officiated Real Housewives of Orange County Wedding of Tamra and Eddie Bravo T.V. on June 15th 2013. As she finishes the writing of this introduction is off to preside her "Food Network Star Chefs" wedding.


From Dr. Linda

"Recently, after my Bravo T.V. wedding ceremony for The Reality Show - The Real Housewives of Orange County Tamra & Eddie, I received a number of compliments regarding the kindness and grace in my voice and in my deportment. Also, that these traits are not ones manufactured. The command of the wedding ceremony showed knowledge and experience. Wedding or Celebrations Manners, along with acquired knowledge and experience are more much more than "have to", they are public expressions of what a person values, and who they are or want to become. As to "healthy living", my physical stamina in my work as a Celebrity Wedding Officiator is due to the healthy body, mind and spirit choices that I have made every day for decades. 

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copyright 2013 - May not be used in any fashion without express written permission from  Dr. Linda 

ENGAGED & WEDDING PLANNING - “IF IT WERE A WEDDING SNAKE IT WOULD HAVE BITTEN ME!” By National Celebrity Ceremony Officiator, Writer & Educator- Dr. Linda Wainwright Trott

Article & Images Copyright Dr. Linda @2013

United States - Sept 2nd 2013- Your engagement might be new, but, this wedding planning tip is as ancient as time! There is an old adage directed to the phenomena of a person not seeing something staring directly at them – “If it were a snake, it would have bitten me!”  Stop, think for a minute.  There are many things that we do not see, but affect us none-the-less.  For example, you can’t see the air that you are breathing in.  – But, stop breathing it, and you will die!  We can’t physically see a “thought” or a “feeling”, but, perhaps their expressions. What about the human cells which repair your body?  - They produce healing, whether you see them or not! None of these can be seen with the naked eye, yet, they navigate the fate of the essential things which support life. Our living is influenced by countless unseen protagonists and antagonists.

BRIDES JUST DON’T SEE IT COMING! THE VENOMOUS WEDDING SNAKE STRIKES FAST,  HARD AND, IT IS POWERFULLY RELENTLESS

Question - How does this relate to wedding planning?  Answer, “You take you wherever you go!”  “What!” you exclaim!  

A True Bride Dilemma - The Solution Is Both Simple And Profound!

“She, a bride-to-be, had a horrible time deciding what wedding cake, dress, shoes, location, etc.   After all, it was all about the budget, and sticking to it. In fact, she and her groom had so financially little, well, there really wasn’t a budget!”  They planned their wedding on a “hope and a prayer!” And, with every bombardment of suggestions, the dilemma accrued momentum, to the point of “critical mass”.  Does this describe you, yet?

In short, my dear bride, our culture has hold of you, and it will not let you go!  Twisted communications come from every where demanding you obey.  – This is exactly what you must have to be a happy bride!   From the “greedy” wedding professional to the celebrity’s $ 6,000.00 for a pair of bridal shoes! – Also, weighing in are magazines, Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, your friends, or mum who wants you to have what she didn’t!  Help!  Brides are screaming from the four corners of America, “Stop The World, I Want To Get Off!”

IDENTIFYING THE PROVERBIAL VENOMOUS WEDDING SNAKE BEFORE IT BITES 

“A Perspective Check, More Important Than A Financial Reality Check”

Article & Images Copyright 2013 - Dr.Linda

“Wedding Planning starts with values.  Is guided by values, succeeds with them, and fails without them!” Dr. Linda

My father used to say, “Well, when I found out what was causing it, I stopped!”  - This to be the solution to that “unwanted thing” repetitively occurring.  But, me, I would rather identify the phantom before it bites.  This is what I mean by, “You take yourself with you every where you go!”  So, why not know you better! Who you are is identifiable, if you take the time to be a “self-identifer”.  And, this is true to determining the wedding planning values that really matter.  These values go far beyond the wedding day.  So, begin a “Wedding Values” List today.  – This idea and practice, is a Dr. Linda original!  I will even start you off, and, then continue the series of “Wedding Planning Values” questions in the future.

1.  Picture yourself 20 years after your wedding.  Perhaps, long after your Great –Aunt or Father or dearest friend has passed away.  When you look back, what gives you the “warm and fuzzies”, or “puts a smile on your face”? What really matters to you then? – The pleasant memory of that “frozen in time” hug with your father or dearest friend, or your rhinestone Louis Vuitton wedding shoes? - Those hours talking about your joy-filled future marriage with your Great- Auntie at Starbucks, or your rhinestone Louis Vuitton wedding shoes?  Your answer says a lot about you, now. And, it makes a statement about how much you need a “Wedding Planning Values” List before you start planning!

TO BE CONTINUED – DR. TROTT

Dr. Linda Wainwright Trott - The Clergy Network & LegallyMarried is a Celebrity Wedding Officiator, Writer, Blogger & Educator, and has written and presided marriages for 24 years.  With multiple academic degrees, she was also a professor and president of a university. From The Food Network Star Chef’s Wedding to The Real Housewives of Orange County Bravo T.V. Wedding to the bride on a budget, Dr. Linda is a “Wedding Values” writer. Dr. Linda encourages what is really important about “getting married”.  Starting with absolute values first, helps a bride make the best and most memorable wedding planning decisions.

info@theclergynetwork.com – www.facebook.com/legallymarried - www.twitter.com/legallymarried - www.pinterest.com/livingfestive    -  www.blog.theclergynetwork.com   

"Be My Bridesmaid" Invitation Charm Lockets or Necklaces by www.bloomfaith.com

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August 10th 2013 - California - Bridesmaid Jewelry News By Dr. Linda - Celebrity Wedding Officiator

www.facebook.com/legallymarried  has been informed by  www.bloomfaith.com of the their launch of  "Be My Bridesmaid" Invitation Charm Lockets or Necklaces. The bride-to-be selects a locket or chain, and then fills it with the charms that reflect the interests of the wearer. Let's look at the possibilities....

Fill with charms to :

1. Describe a bridesmaid's personality or virtues. "Kind" "Love" "Dreamer", etc.

            2. Honour the interests of the bridesmaid - hobbies, religious faith, career, loves.

                        3. Symbolize their role as bridesmaids or the "Wedding" or "Marriage" theme - i.e., "ring", "shoes", "flower", "dress", "heart", "princess crown", etc.

And, with each purchase,www.bloomfaith.com is including a complimentary custom "Be My Bridesmaid" words, written by Celebrity Wedding Officiator, Dr. Linda.  She recently presided, "The Real Housewives of Orange County Wedding Bravo T.V. - Tamra and Eddie. Also, writing The Food Network Star Chefs Wedding. Dr. Linda is a professional Wedding Ceremony and Marriage Vows Writer and Marriage Officiant. info@theclergynetwork.com  or, "Like Us" atwww.facebook.com/legallymarried 

Dana Point Wedding Outrage - 300 Un-Invited Wedding Guests - Orange County Park Wedding Event Permits Don't Always Assure Privacy!

(Revised Sept 2013) - 300 UnInvited Wedding Guests - Heritage Park, Dana Point Wedding Ceremony Outrage - The Clergy Network of Southern California. Imagine 300 or more uninvited wedding guests - Recently, our TCN officiator, at a Dana Point wedding ceremony was faced with 300-400 uninvited wedding guests! The wedding couple had a special Orange County Parks' Wedding Permit and purchased required insurance - they were officially legally permitted.  This marrying couple had looked forward to their wedding ceremony for some time, and expected privacy. The wedding event was to be intimate and sentimental for so many reasons. And, to top it off, the groom was in the shadow of military deployment. This, an event to be shared by those who cared about them the most. With the pre-secured assurance of access and location, the day came to celebrate! So, who were these 300-400 uninvited wedding guests?

Prior to the bride's arrival, our Dr. Linda, a Celebrity Wedding Officiator, was going through pre-ceremony paces, and soon became increasingly challenged with a growing number of prom teens and their parents. The group grew, and hoards of picture taking pre-prom young adults descended upon the sacred wedding ceremony area.- Too large of a group to be without a permit! With numbers mounting, invited wedding guests could not find a park, and it was a mess! It also was a very dangerous environment. And, really needed police supervision. Even sadder, and somewhat shocking, were the number of prom-teens' parents not willing to cooperate with the wedding couple's Orange County Wedding Event Permit's stated rights and privileges - Even blocking the wedding -aisle entrance of the bride.  Some parents, when asked to move from the wedding aisle, even stated "Our child's prom pictures are more important, the bride will just have to wait." We won't even address the rudeness of the teens themselves! And, the noise! As a result, the wedding ran terribly late, jeopardizing the couple's wedding pictures (sun was beginning to set). Eventually, the sheriff's officers were called in, cleared the path and the wedding began.

Brides, when planning a beach or beach-park wedding that requires a permit, know that the city officials don't tend to advise of other scheduled events in your permitted ceremony area. Or, due to the public nature of the site, a local group's decision to congregate without permission is beyond their concern or knowledge. In fact, the after hours telephone number on the permit information given to this Dana Point bride and groom, was not even an active telephone number. (Although designated as an "Emergency Contact Number")

Finally, unfortunately, during the ceremony, the teen crowd's loud voices did distract the couple during their marriage vows' exchange. Dr. Linda, an exemplary wedding officiator, exhausted by efforts, still managed to help make this disappointed couple's wedding ceremony special. We are confident in saying that TCN and LegallyMarried is the only wedding officiant referral service in Southern California who would have so actively worked to make such a successful outcome under these opposing odds. Thank you also to the Sheriff's department's assistance.

Brides, pick your wedding officiator for your Dana Point and Orange County California wedding ceremony wisely! A public beach or park wedding ceremony is fraught with potential hazards. A skilled and involved wedding clergy, wedding officiator, wedding celebrant or justice-of-the-peace is essential at an outdoor wedding location environment. Professional marriage officiants will work hard for you in the best or worst of wedding day circumstances. Thank you, Dr. Linda!

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Dr. Linda is a Southern California Celebrity Wedding Officiator. From The Real Housewives of Orange County Wedding Bravo T.V. to The Food Network Star Chef's Wedding, and the bride on a budget.  A wedding officiator, wedding ceremony educator, wedding ceremony writer, blogger & Director of officiators, also in Southern California. Book Dr. Linda for your wedding ceremony event in Southern California.

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(Featured picture is not of Heritage Park)