She was British, and she was royal. At a dinner party Princess Anne spent the entire meal talking about horses with one of her dinner companions. Throughout the meal, beyond passionate about horses, this royal ignored her other dinner table neighbor. Until that moment when, the princess turned to him to ask for the sugar. At her request, the slighted man put two lumps of sugar on his open palm and held them out to her!
Depending upon your vantage point, the ignored table companion either demonstrated his dismay with a well placed correction or with an out-of-order admonishment. Whether a graphic plea for acknowledgement, or something more derogatory... Point Well Taken! Does this kind of scenario bring back an "I am invisible" moment for you too? In an uncomfortable way, I too have been the victim of "Social Dismissal" at the wedding reception table. So too, at a wedding rehearsal and on a ceremony day. In fact, at a recent celebrity wedding, "Invisible" was my middle name! Whether the "Brave New World of Technology Dependence" is the culprit or the flawed "Child-Rearing" of the "Hippie Generation", it just is that way! But, it does not need to remain in this flagrant state.
Be it self - absorbed or insecure..... Single - tracked or Scattered..... or whatever disposition, the "Invisible Ones" at your wedding should certainly find their voice. Whether you consider yourself their good friend or an exceptional bride - hostess, it is your joyful responsibility to foster an inclusive wedding environment. So, how do we change the American culture on this regard? This is a good question which requires a big answer! So, let's just start with your wedding!
Firstly, I will start off with a few suggestions, adding to the article with your ideas as we go along. This will be a "Wedding Manners" collaborative article. We will even give you a link credit for your accepted story or manners suggestion.
1. Study the "Art of Inclusion" - At a social event or business mixer, pay attention to the presence of those around you. The "Invisible Ones" don't need to remain unseen. You can be that "first hand-shake" of acceptance!
2. Outside Your Familiar Social Circle, find a common ground of interest, or invest a few minutes in discovery of another's passions. Generally speaking, human beings like to learn, and enjoy communicating their treasured information. Also, there is great satisfaction in acknowledging the value of others. Even those across the room, or standing by the guest table, etc. have a story to tell you. - A story with your name on it! Who knows, this here-to-fore "Invisible One" might mention something that they read about a recent "Medical Cure" or that invites some other solution in your own life. Perhaps, you may meet Mr Right or Miss. Right or, that "Friend for Life". When at a social event, become known for your character and class, choose to participate outside your familiar inner circle.
3. As the bride, discuss your requirement of "Inclusive Enjoyment" for all wedding guests. - From the reception Master of Ceremony or D.J., to your Wedding Planner. As a Wedding Officiator, here in Southern California and as an International Wedding Ceremony Writer, I have many suggestions on "How to Include Family & Friends In The Ceremony Moment!" www.facebook.com/legallymarried
4. Simply the "Thoughtful Thing To Do", assign each table a host and/or hostess. - Those selected should have an inclusive nature.- This will facilitate natural lively conversation and enjoyment at their table of influence.
5. Simply the "Thoughtful Thing to Do", assign a person to attend to those wedding professionals providing services at your ceremony and reception. Greet them at their arrival, thank them at their departure. Sometimes, on a hot wedding day, the Wedding Officiator could sure use a cold glass of water (That would be me)!
Polite Wedding Officiator For Your Orange County or Los Angeles or Riverside County WeddingCeremony?
Discussion With Maria Erdman's submitted story of Princess Anne. "Ms. Erdman spent most of her life in Europe in the international aristocratic and jet set environment. She lived an elegant lifestyle unimaginable for most of people. Her main activity was hosting social events. .......She was identified as the most elegant woman in Rome by the national newspaper "La Repubblica"....Today Maria is focusing on using her experience, talent and passion to enhance the lives activity was hosting social events."
Discussion With Dr. Linda - Celebrity Wedding Officiator - Officiated The Real Housewives of Orange County Wedding on June 15th 2013 & The Food Network Star Chefs Wedding
Recently, after my Bravo T.V. wedding ceremony for The Reality Show - The Real Housewives of Orange County Tamra & Eddie, I received a number of compliments regarding the kindness and grace in my voice and in my deportment. Also, that these traits are not ones manufactured. Wedding or Celebrations Manners are more much more than "have to", they are public expressions of what a person values, and who they are or want to become.
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Wedding Coordinator Wrote - "A well written article. I have seen many invisible guests and as a Wedding Planner/ Coordinator have when time allows started conversation, which then drew in other guests. I have been the invisible at event, in my shier years, and know how uncomfortable it can be. Thank you again for this article."
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